The top 3 celebrities I would be gay with: Anderson Cooper, Adam Levine, and David Beckham.

The following is a list of the top 3 celebrities I would be gay with:

1.  Anderson Cooper

Anderson just gets it.  He's smart and sharp with the right amount of self-deprecating humor.  He hosts a show on CNN and always does awesome breaking news reports from remote places.

What I love about him: his pale skin, the fact that he is a germaphobe, his grey hair, his Ivy League smugness.

What I would make him do: This one is a tough call because Anderson is gay so the options are infinite. I would make him lay next to me on a nude beach as I watched the blazing sun torch his perfect pale skin. Later in the day, I would dye his hair black and masturbate as a homeless man sensually applied aloe all over his body. Finally, I would dress up as the joker and make him interview me while a butt plug was inserted in his rectum. The interview would conclude with me asking him, "Why so serious"?

2.  Adam Levine
Adam is on fire right now. He was named the most beautiful person of 2013 by People Magazine.  He is a judge on The Voice which is one of the most popular shows on TV.  He is engaged to a supermodel. He is a pitchman for Pro-active solution because he had really bad acne when he was younger.

What I love about him: ummmm everything? his voice, his tattoos, his slim figure, his semi-hipster style

What I would make him do: I would make him serenade me songs while I applied Nair to various parts of my body.

3.  David Beckham
David is an international icon and one of the elite soccer players in the world. He's married to one of the Spice Girls and models underwear.

What I love about him: The range of hairstyles he has pulled off over the years is a credit to his icon status. His faux-hawk years redefined the hair game. He has this high pitched accent that makes me melt when he talks.

What I would do with him: David and I would pass the soccer ball around wearing nothing but Armani underwear in the stadium of Real Madrid. We would make sweet love wrapped in a soccer net while the Spice Girls hit "tell me what you want, what you really really want" blasted through the speakers. Finally, I would ask him if I took it too far with Anderson and issue him a red card.


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