Where should you live in LA?

First of all, why is the Barstool LA site not called Hollywood?  That would have such a better ring to it.  LA is short for Los Angeles, and Los Angeles is huge.  If I had a map I could cut out a range of places, landmarks, neighborhoods that make sense.  I don’t have a map. I wrote about a map on my law school application essay.  

Second of all, (what comes after first of all? Its second of all right?) what you need to know about living in LA is that you will drink and drive a lot. A LOT.  I can not believe I was not arrested for a DUI, because you have to drive everywhere.  There is no T, no public transportation, although I did take a bus once, and it costs a lot of money to take a cab somewhere because everything is spread out.

Boston? You have the T. 

New York? You have the subway.  

Chicago? You have the rail (or whatever that bell sound that was made when Dr. Richard Kimble was on the pay phone)

LA? You have to drive or take an expensive cab.  

It’s just not a real city as far as city living goes.  

It costs $65 dollars for a cab to take you from 3^rd street in Santa Monica (where Whitey Buiger lived), to the sunset strip in Hollywood where all the bars you’ve heard in rap songs or read about in US weekly are located.  Ever heard the Jay-Z song lyrics Bubblin in Dublin’s? Dublins is a bar on Sunset strip.  

Hollywood is the name on that sign in Hollwood Hills and the generic term for where show biz is located, but you would not want to live in the actual neighborhood.  It’s really seedy and you feel uncomfortable walking around. 

West Hollywood is the gay section.  

Beverly Hills is where rich people shop in movies and feels like Epcott center. 

Century City, Westwood, Brentwood (where UCLA is) are all next to each other between the beach and Hollywood.  

USC is in the ghetto. 

Downtown LA, where the Lakers play, is far away from everything and not really downtown at all. 

Santa Monica and Venice are the beach towns.  But if you want to live a beach bum life move to San Diego.  Venice beach is fucking sketchy, Santa Monica Beach is gross and all Mexicans.  

Manhattan Beach and Hermosa Beach are pretty sick and where pro volleyball tournaments are.  

What is the point of this blog? Don’t move to LA. You have to own a car and you have to drive everywhere.  It’s so spread out and makes zero sense geographically. Driving home from work and getting stuck on the 405 or the 10 is the absolute worst.  


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